


Ok so, I didn't read the Twilight books. I actually didn't see the first movie until about a week ago when my boyfriend came home saying that some cougar at the bar he works at said he [quote] "looks like that Twilight vampire Eddie boy". After careful inspection I've concluded that the similarities are non-existent and my Casey is still very much not a vampire. [sigh.]
I enjoyed it for the most part. Visually, it was really lovely to look at. But here are my beefs.
1. Strategic Product Placement- When Bella & Jacob are outside the movie theatre, there is a crumpled Burger King bag sitting on top of the trash can to their left. When Bella & Alice fly to Italy, there's a lengthy shot of a Virgin Airlines plane. The Cullens all drive Volvos. I'm just kind of confused, because it's not like they didn't make a shit ton of money off the first film.
2. Kristen Stewart acts like a skittish kitten on screen.

I can see how she'd be afraid to kiss Edward, He's a vampire and his most deadly asset lays mostly in his mouth, but her body language backs away when he leans towards her. If you're so in love, and you're so comfortable around one of the story's most powerful family of Vampires, then what's this all about? It's annoying, and I'm going to come right out and say it- she's not the best actress ever. I got mildly annoyed towards the end of the movie.
3. I know the idea of Vampires living in modern society is not exactly a conceivable thing- but there's more non-paranormal elements in the story that I can't believe. Bella is gone for a few hours after Edward breaks up with her and the entire town of Forks is searching for her. Bella leaves with with Alice, simply says "don't worry", goes to Italy, and dad's all like "oh where were you for the past three days?". It's like- really unrealistic.

And how exactly do you tell your mom and dad that you're with a vampire, and you want him to make you one too so you can be together until infinity? Just saying, my dad wouldn't be too pleased. He'd probably ship me off to a boarding school/pseudo convent.
4. The Twilight Saga was written by a Mormon. I understand that she has a specific way of conveying things because of her beliefs, but these Vampires are laughably tame to me. If you segue to Charlaine Harris' True Blood vampires, they're vastly different- but Harris' are more mythologically correct. Examples: Vampires can't enter a home without being invited in. See the movie "Let The Right One In", The vampire in that movie literally starts to combust after stepping into the doorway of a human's home without being invited. Traditional vampires can not be awake/outside in the daytime, period. They can't be inside, under cover, or wear dark sunglasses, they have to live under ground. So how is it that Edward will start to disintegrate in the sun at high noon in Italy, but Alice can wear sunglasses and be fine? Traditional vampires can not sufficiently live off animal blood- they have to feed off of humans or they become weak and "die" per-say. [<- I read a lot. Leave me alone.] The Cullen's don't eat humans, which I've been told is why their eyes are brown and not red. This is boring to me.
Bottom line:
I quite like looking at Robert Pattison. I kind of like the story, but at the same time I don't. The idea of vampires I have in my head is not of glittery, waiting until marriage, occasionally kissing, nurturing, nesting, non-blood drinking vampires. The ones I'm interested in, are sex crazed, un-relenting, hungry, violent, bizarre, and nocturnal.
Twilight is none of these things.